Things I Can’t Do for the First 10 Dates

September 7, 2010 2 Comments

At one point in time, I used to be a huge movie buff.  I loved to watch movies.  It wasn’t until recently, when friends begin to ask me if I had seen one movie or another that I realized that I am tragically behind on my movie game.  I think I’ve been to the movies twice this year and maybe twice last year, and actually I have probably been the movies less than 10 times in the last 3 or so years.  I told you- tragic.  After I thought about it, I realized that the reason I haven’t been to the movies that often is because that is a relationship outing and not a dating outing- at least for me.
When you are in a relationship, you can go to the movies whenever because you have spent and are spending time outside of the movies to really get know each other.  However, when you are dating, the movies don’t provide an atmosphere to get to know someone better.  You can’t talk to each other, you can’t see each other, and you can’t build experiences with one another.  It is a terrible and lazy date idea.  So for me, I say no movies for the first 10 dates.  Here are a few other things I refuse to do in the first 10 dates:
1)        Double Date. People are generally still trying to prove something in the first few months of dating and when that is coupled with another couple, it can easily turn into an unnecessary competition to out-“love” the other couple.   Men try to outdo men and women try to receive the most validation.  Or the other couple can be super argumentative and make the other couple feel completely uncomfortable.  Either way, I want no parts early on in dating.
2)        Meet the Parents. It’s just too soon.
3)        Go to Church Together. I know, I know but hear me out.  If it is your church and you are actively involved, it is like meeting the family if not worse.  It just opens up endless assumptions and expectations.  The only exception I have if we go to a church that neither of us attends.
4)        Work Out Together. I think people underestimate how intimate working out together can be.  It can easily expose all of your physical shortcomings in the daylight.  Then there is the sweating, exhaustion, and overall raggedness that comes after a good work out.  For instance, last night I was doing a 25-minute Ab-Ripper X video.   After which, I was laid out on the floor for the next hour.  I don’t want to look like a punk in front of my date.

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8 Things Your Last Girlfriend Should Have Taught You

June 10, 2010 13 Comments

Ideally, every relationship should be better than the previous.  Lessons learned should carry into the next relationship to minimize petty arguments due to one not being aware of their annoying behavior.  Specifically, every girlfriend should leave the man better than she found him.  It is common courtesy.  One should take honor in the work done in her prior relationships to lessen the headaches on the next girl.
So it is expected that by the time a man enters his mid twenties- early thirties, he has had enough significant relationships to have learned the basics to avoid unnecessary dissent in the new relationship.
So here are 8 things your last girlfriend should have taught you.
1)      To Take Out the Trash…without being asked. You see the trash.  You smell the trash.  You continue to stuff things at the top of the trash until it absolutely can’t hold anymore.  At this point, you are expected to be proactive, and when you see the trash full to take it out.  Your girl can take it out, but if you are there why would you want her to?
2)      How to Dress in Your Size- Medium.  Why are you still buying XXL shirts when you are a medium?  And who still sags? Buy your 34 waist jeans.  It is okay.  You are grown.  No one will think you are less than a man if your clothes actually fit on the weekends too.
3)      How to Match: You don’t have to be a fashionita by any stretch of the imagination but it is expected you to know that black shoes and a brown belt do not go together…neither does white socks and black shoes…nor do dark shirts with light shoes.  And it is assumed you to have shoes other than Jordans and dress shoes.  A nice causal loafer is a must.  You just need the basics because no wants to have to dress you every day.
4)      To Let Down the Toilet Seat Every Time. Yes.  Every Time. Enough said.
5)      To Properly Groom Yourself. Impeccable personal hygiene is a must.  No one wants a funky man lying around their house.  But beyond that your netherlands region should not resemble the jungles of Jurassic Park. Take care of that.  That is all.
6)      How to Effectively Shop for Tampons. You should no longer think they are all the same.  Or should you still be bashful about getting them.  A gem is the man that asks the appropriate questions to make sure he brings back the right kind. A keeper is the man that knows to also bring her back a pint of her favorite ice cream.
7)      The Hair Process. You should know it takes time.  If you want to be spontaneous and surprise your girl with a surprise date, that’s great and sweet.  If her hair needs to be nice for such an event then give her notice so your girl can enjoy the event without being mad at you because her hair is not how she would have liked it.
8)      How to Handle the Groupies. No woman wants a man no one else wants.  Women should expect other women to come at you, it is a compliment.  However, at this age you should know how to handle them without any assistance from the misses.
…Any others you would add?

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