There is a Man

It would be easier for me to write about the dude who blatantly and repeatedly denied the paternity of his son since it is on the forefront of my brain right now…
However, I would rather tell you the story about the man, who when needed, interceded on behalf of another man that chose to be absent during the pregnancy of his child.  This man cooked, cleaned, and carried the load of a friend that couldn’t do it all at the time. This man had no relation to this woman he decided to help and asked nothing in return; he just saw a need and decided to step in…or rather, step up.
And then I got to thinking about the man, who works days, go to school at night, and mentors at the community center on Saturday mornings.  He teaches young boys how to enhance their math, reading, and writing skills.  However, his presence teaches them a greater lesson: that you can be cool, black, young and successful without being an athlete, rapper, or entertainer.  You see, he designs video games, and to these kids, he is way cooler than Kobe.
There is a man who takes pride in taking care of his child.  He loves to play with him.  He refuses to let his frayed relationship with the child’s mother interfere with the quality time he spends with his child.  The idea of being a “weekend father” is ridiculous and insufficient to meet his standard of fatherhood…of manhood.
There is also a man, who decided to marry the love of his life.  He felt she deserved the title since she performed the duties.  He made the conscious decision if he started a family, it would be with her under the umbrella of marriage.  He is committed to this one woman.  She is his best friend.   When she has a long day, he rubs her head until she falls asleep in her lap. This makes his day.
These men are under 30, degreed, drug-free, noncriminal, successful….and are black.  But their story will never be told because the world doesn’t want you to know they exist.

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Journeying

It has been a minute…
I have made a few moves- some literally, some figuratively, all to get closer to my dreams.   It has been a beautiful journey.
On this journey of life, it is vital to have a person that believes in you.  I’ve always understood that much. It has always been family, friends, church members, teachers- those who you believe it is part of their duty and responsibility to believe, encourage, and aid in your personal aspirations.
As the journey of life continues, if you are doing right, you often get knocked down, disappointed, hurt, deceived, rejected.  If you are willing to try, you often lose before you succeed.  In a search for something, you often end up with nothing…or just regret.   As women, we often allow those disappointments, regrets, and hurts cloud the image in the mirror.   We find ourselves not reaching as far, not dreaming as big, not trying as hard, not expecting as much.
And if we are lucky on this journey, a man will come along, that not only loves us foggy-mirrored women, but wipes our mirrors.  He clears the obstructions so you can remember your limitless potential, your extraordinary dreams, and your lofty ambitions.   It is weird at first, an adjustment to say the least, having a man who seeks to build and not destroy.   But his patience with you adjusts your vision of yourself, helps to facilitate your personal and professionals goals, and aides your spiritual growth.   His love makes you remember what it was like to love before your first heartache.  His love heals.

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