Remnants of Familiarity

Welcome to another edition of not-so- Light Fridays.  The words took a different direction, what can you do?

For over almost 10 years, I had a best friend in Dallas.  Whenever we were in the same city, we were inseparable.  We would run errands together, eat out, hang out at each other’s homes.  He was the type of friend that could just pop up unannounced at 8:00 in the morning to see if you wanted to go get breakfast.  Depending on budget, time, and gas, we would go to one of three places- The Waffle House, I-Hop, or the Pancake House.  All of each visited, where at a very specific location in the Dallas area.  We eventually dated one summer.  It was perfect.  It should have been perfect enough for me to move back home to Dallas after my studies in D.C., but it wasn’t.  So I stayed in D.C, and we both fell in love with other people.  And such are the rules of engagement with new girlfriends and old too-close-for-comfort friends, we eventually lost touch.  He got married…one week after I moved back (which I thought was permanently) to Dallas.  It was a tough blow.
Initially upon my move back to Dallas, I thought I would run into him sooner than later.  I still shopped at the same places.  I still dined at the same places we frequented.  I still took all the same routes we used to take.  So I was puzzled when months went by and I never saw him.  Eventually, I forgot about him.  I stopped worrying if our paths would ever cross again.  And after a year of being back in Dallas, I decided it was time to move back to D.C.  I began saving, planning, and praying . I felt there was nothing left in Dallas for me and I was stuck in an unproductive routine.  Work, run, and then home.  Until one day, after work, and after my run I decided to head to Wal-Mart to pick up a few items.  As I begin to turn the corner, I felt his presence close, I look to my right and there he was turned away from me.  All I could get out was “Hey.”  He turned around.  We exchanged the usual pleasantries.  And just like that, I realized that he had long been out of my system.  I felt nothing.  I felt no connection that was there before.  All that was left were the remnants of familiarity.

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Why You Can’t Meet My Friends

Despite this blog, my very open personal twitter account, and my frequent facebook updates, I am a very private person, even with my friends…even with my best friends.  No one friend knows all, most know some, but only a few know most, and only GOD knows all.  There is no exception when it comes to men I date.
So it is always strange when men I date ask to kick it with my friends- the friends that have probably heard nothing about him…at all.  My response is usually, “Nah, you can’t meet my friends.”  He usually responds, “Why?”  I typically give some version of “I’m not there yet.”
Here are my reasons why I am totally against someone I’m dating meeting my friends.
1)   No commitment: We are just dating and on my end nothing serious as of now.  I have friends and family that every time you see them they are introducing to someone new.   Instead of enjoying the pleasantry of meeting this person, you don’t even hear the name because you are giving your friend/family the extreme side-eye.  Yeah, so I refuse to be that person with a constant rotation of new people.
2)   My Friends Are Cool As Hell: There is no question, my date will love my friends.  It only takes a few hours of kicking it with them to feel like you have truly bonded.  At the end of the night, he will probably be like “I’ve haven’t had that much fun in a while.”  Then my date is trying to exchange twitters or pins.  And well, I just can’t have that.  What if I decide you are no longer worth my time, are you still going to try to kick it with my friends?  Are your exchanges going to be on my timeline like ya’ll are cool?  It can become super annoying and harder to  move forward if you are now, without earning it, integrated into my social circle.
3)   My Friends are Like Family: I have no family here in D.C., at least biologically speaking.  My friends are like my family.  I believe the saying goes, “friends are the family you can pick.”  Well, I picked quite an extraordinary bunch.  So if I am not ready for you to meet my family, then I am not ready for you meet my friends.
I will let you know when we get there.

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