Dumbing Down: The Michelle Obama Effect

I am still in awe of the strength and grace of Michelle.  She is obviously smarter than Barack, yet she uses her intelligence to build up her husband, children, and her community.  She is truly an inspiration. Nevertheless, I can’t help but wonder how much of herself she is forced to leave behind on a daily basis.  Degreed from both Princeton and Harvard, former Associate Dean for the University of Chicago, and founder of non-profit organization, Public Allies are just some of the highlights of Michelle’s impeccable resume.  Though I assume the most life-changing position was being a young, promising law associate assigned to mentor intern Barack Obama.  Well, she mentored him into greatness.
Despite the demands of Barack’s senate campaign and term, Michelle maintained a full-time job making significantly more than her husband, managed the household, and took care of their daughters despite the frequent absence of Barack due to him working in D.C.  Most people, man, woman, or otherwise, would not be able to effectively juggle the roles she had to play on a daily basis.  However, I would guess that some of the motivation and excitement of continuing to work at a demanding job is the fulfillment of being brilliant at her job.  Otherwise Michelle would have quit her job and moved to D.C. to be with her husband when he was appointed to the U.S. Senate.  Even during Barack’s presidential campaign, she still kept her job on a reduced schedule despite the demands of campaign life.  So I know it was no easy pill to swallow when she decided to give up a piece of her to support her husband and family to become the First Lady of the United States.

They have no idea how much I sacrificed to enjoy moments like this.

Women are constantly forced to choose between being brilliant in their careers and providing the best environment for their family.  I don’t think men get it.  I don’t think men can grasp the sacrifice of having to choose between which parts of your identity have to take a backburner to make this family thing work.  Career women spend their whole life learning, being the best, acquiring degrees, fighting their way up the corporate ladder, and finally get to a position where they can make their own rules to have it derailed by their husband’s dreams and their children’s needs.  Yes, that is a big pill to swallow.
But everyday women trade in their expertise in statistics to do simple math worksheets with their children.  The blackberry goes from being full of business meetings to carpool arrangements for the kid’s soccer team.  The business suits once used for executive lunch meetings are now used for social events for the husband’s wives club.  I suppose with time that part left behind is no longer what is important.  Maybe with time, a woman forgets it is there.  And maybe it is not dumbing down at all.  Maybe it is just familying up…until she can get back to her brilliance.

When it is NOT okay to break up their happy home…Alicia.

A wise woman once said, “Everyone has been cheated on and everyone has cheated.”  No surprises there, just like there is no surprise that the wife (yes, they are still legally married) of Swizz Beatz, Mashonda, still has a lot on her chest about the role Alicia played in their pending divorce.  But with cheating being so commonplace does Mashonda still have a right to be upset? Yeah, Hell yeah!
And while I in NO WAY condone cheating, or being an accomplice to cheating unless he is super fine and THE BEST…, IF you MUST cheat, there is a code,  Alicia.
You should steer clear, ignore his 2:00am texts, and keep your hands to yourself if:
He is married. When vows are expressed openly before God, family, and friends, you need to keep your goods and sultry singing in late night studio sessions to yourself! This is closely followed by he is engaged.  If he has made that $10K investment on a piece of jewelry you can bet he is all in, so you need to fall back. Matter of fact, discontinue contact because you obviously didn’t make the cut boo.
They have kids. 2007-062607_bet-awards_black-carpet-fashions_swizz-beatz_mashonda_kidsThey have been together for 9 years together. She is pregnant with baby number #4 by him. You might need to make better use your energy elsewhere, despite his claims to their rocky relationships.  Any child born after the first one, is NOT an accident- he knew exactly what he was doing.  Do you really want to be the reason she has to explain to their children why Daddy is leaving? And honestly, even if it is just one child, that mother, if he is a real father, will forever be in the picture.  As Mashonda stated, “If you two being together forever is the case, [it’s] more of a reason for us to get along, because I’m not going anywhere. [There’s] a child to be raised.”
She is crazy.A Thin Line As much as we rooted for Nia Long’s character in A Thin Line Between Love and Hate victory in winning Martin Lawrence’s character, she basically put her life at risk over a dude.  It is never, ever, ever that deep…  If she making calls and stopping by your job over ol’ dude, then let her have him.  You never know what is next with unstable creatures.
He has no respect for you. All calls are made after midnight and he is gone by morning.  You never get dates, still pay all your bills, and you bought all your clothes. SMH, you are missing the point.  IF you cheat, it is suppose to be like a vacation- wining and dining, sweet surprises, and gifts.  You run this, not him. Otherwise, you are not doing something right…or he doesn’t respect you at all. Drop him.
You are crazy. Brad and AngelinaYou think there is something so magical about your goods that he is going to leave the woman he is with for you. You have pictures of Angelina and Brad as your screen saver.  You are just hopeful, making plans, stalking, and wishing. You are crazy.  The odds that he leaves her because of you are slim to none.  Even if he leaves her, he is not coming to you.  If you can’t handle your role, this game ain’t for you.

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