Giving It Up: How Soon Is Too Soon?

Men, typically, want one thing.  Sex.  It is the common denominator that binds race, hue, religion, sexual orientation, age, and socioeconomic background.  Well, it is true.  So it is a refreshing to a woman when a man comes along and wants MORE than that one thing. You know, these are the men that actually care about your well being, your interests, and your feelings.  But upon first glance they all look the same.  The men that care dress the same as the ones who don’t care at all.  Both types of men go to the same restaurants, have memberships at the same gym, and get their hair cut at the same barber shop.  So I can’t necessarily say I am upset with the woman that decided she was going to wait…no, not wait until she was married but waited until she was sure to which group he belonged.
Contrarily, the infamous 90-day rule of thumb seems ridiculous both in theory and practical application.  A preset time limit, regardless of circumstance,  seems like a recipe for disaster and disappointment.  Moreover, it makes your body and those intimate interactions, a prize that can be won after a simple and basic challenge of merely waiting.  I am infinitely more than that.
So that begs the question, “how soon is too soon to have sex?”  This question is applicable to both men and women.  For the men, how do you separate the hoes from the wives based on how easily the goods were obtained?  And for the women, how do determine a man’s true intentions without making him wait?  If you make him wait too long do you risk losing him altogether?  Well, if he will leave because you want to be sure you can go ahead and scratch his name off the list.
I’m going to jump out there and say most men, even those that sincerely care about a woman, will not play a 90-day waiting game.  However, a man that cares about you will wait until you are ready, whether that is 2 weeks down the line or until you are married.  Maybe it is beyond caring if he waits until you are married because that is a special and rare love.
I do believe it is the woman’s responsibility to take value in her own body and make sure the man is worth her time and her most inner self.  The man should show as much enthusiasm about outdoor activities as he does with indoor activities.  He should invest in your well being.  He should encourage your best.  I know some may say, it is just sex and not that serious.  But your body, man or woman should not be a free-for-all festival where anybody can have access.  A good male friend of mine always says that because a woman has exactly what a man wants she has the power.  Some admittedly abuse that power; however, the tragic cases are those that don’t know they even have any power.  Well, knowledge is also power.  And getting to know someone takes time and effort.  So until we both know each other, whenever that time comes, that is how long it will take.

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She’s Single for the Night

Not all women use sex to audition for a relationship. Some women see sex as just sex. There are no emotions involved on their end. There are no phone calls the next day or the next week. As of matter, of fact these women don’t even call but reduce all communication to text -time, date, and place. She wants no hugs, no elongated kisses, and no lingering. And no, these women don’t deserve the label of whore just because they know exactly what they want and the exact means to get it.

The prey for tonight has been spot. The lure begins.

Some women enjoy the game- the chase, the lure, and the catch. And no, they are not bitter and lashing out vaginally, they just don’t desire the headache of a relationship. They are simply wired differently, like Sex in the City’s Samantha. Like the leading cast would suggest, the odds of finding a woman capable of getting in and keep it moving is probably 1 out of 4. Most will become emotionally invested on some level. And while most men dream of finding women capable of recreational sex, these same men are often crushed when they find out they are only prey caught in her trap.
Some women are jaded and are lashing out vaginally. They were hurt one too many times and now are numb to it all. They use sex to band-aid emotional, physical, and psychological scars. It is a quick fix for these women like a drug, alcohol, or shopping. However, their lack of emotion is not by choice, they simply have no more emotions to give.
Some women are just cheating. These women may be in love or not, but they are certainly bored with their home life…and their man. Like men, some women cheat just to see how long they can go before getting caught. It is an adrindinle rush to these thrill-chasers. While it is an affair, it is only a physical one void of any emotional or love. And if by some chance, she gets caught by messing with a crazy stalker dude, this is the defense she will give- the same one her last boyfriend gave her.