Build-A-Man: The Women’s Molding Complex

One of my favorite stores is Build-A-Bear.  Most of you are familiar with the concept and layout of the store.  You enter this bear factory and pick a bear color, size, and appearance.  You go to the next section and to stuff the bear and stitch up the bear.  Then you get to dress the bear how you like according to  your tastes.  And finally, you get to name the bear and he is yours and has to do what you say and go where you go…  This is how most women approach relationships.
Any man who loves me has to love me as is.  It is a sentiment I share along with many other women I know.  I am not changing.  I am not lowering my standards.  I am not compromising my integrity.  I am not going to be somebody I am not.  I am not going to try to fit someone’s expectations of me.  I will at all costs stay true to myself.  The person I have grown into and have enjoyed being for the last 28 years is the person anybody I enter a relationship will have to love.
Then we enter these relationships with what could be the most perfect of men – these poor, unsuspecting men.  We find one flaw, maybe two or three.  I suppose the right thing to do would be to love them as is.  Accept their flaws in the same manner they accept ours.  That would be noble.  Instead, we become magnifying glasses to these one, two, or three flaws pointing them out every time without fail.  Some of us actually have the audacity to ask them to change to adjust to our standards or expectations.  But we love them so we want them to be better- the better that is defined by us, the women, of course.
Dare a man ask us to change or to improve without the unforgiving wrath of a woman coming down upon him?  How preposterous is the notion for a man to inflict his standards upon us.  Or what if he became the magnifying glass to our shortcomings until self-consciousness and insecurity seeped in to a once secure place.  I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to be loved conditionally- only if you do this or do that, then and only then- yeah of course, I love you.

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6 Responses to Build-A-Man: The Women’s Molding Complex

  1. And so many women wonder why they are still single?

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilde

  2. Kel says:

    First, just seeing that picture brought back old work memories. LOL Secondly, I’m proud that you addressed this topic because it seems to be a major issue in relationships these days on both parts but mainly on the woman’s side (based on my experiences in this walk called Life). It’s upsetting to me that sometimes a man would be willing to change a few things to make himself better and his woman happy but many women would not be willing to do the same. Nobody’s perfect plain and simple. And I’m not asking women to lower their standards because making a D level kind of guy “fit” into her A level standards is a recipe for disaster. But I think if women weren’t so strict on certain standards, there would be a few more successful relationships in the world.

    I wonder if women ever ponder what set of standards their man/boyfriend/husband/fiancee had in mind before them and how it became sightly altered after entering a relationship because that woman never met the “perfect set of standards”? Food for thought eh?

  3. S. Dizzot! says:

    Kanye said it best….

    And I always find
    Yeah, I always find
    Yeah, I always find somethin’ WRONG
    You been puttin’ up wit’ my shit just way too long
    I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most
    So I think it’s time for us to have a toast…

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