Can a Woman Raise a Man?
October 14, 2010 1 Comment
Women innately have superhuman abilities that when determined makes any task possible. This is especially true when it comes to providing for the ones she loves. Women have the unique ability to balance a career, school, and family all while carrying a life. Women can also manage their careers, education and own businesses and make it look easy. However, women do have limits that no matter how hard they try they cannot achieve. Taking into account the state of black men and the black community, the limits of motherhood may make it near impossible for a woman to effectively raise a man.
As much as I applaud single mothers and their tenacity and determination to give their children their absolute best, collectively I am not sure how good of a job black women have been doing raising productive black men alone. Just based off the results of children coming out of broken homes by looking around my immediate and national communities, it is obvious that the current system is failing. If you had a job where you worked 12 hour days, worked overtimes, never slacked, always gave your best yet still didn’t perform well I don’t believe anyone would fault you. Similarly, the role of the single mother, though gives her best, still may fall short. The reason for this is solely due that raising a man was never intended to be done by just a mother. It requires a man to teach males how to become men. In the same manner, it takes a physicist to teach physics, and an engineer to teach engineering.
Originally, I thought that only men were needed to teach men how to be men. However, in having this discussion with some men, a man shared that it takes both a man and a woman to raise a man:
It takes both mother and father to raise a boy into a man. As a boy grows up, the mother teaches the boy compassion and how to love. This is why boys are closer to their moms. At the same time, the boy is watching his dad how he does things, how he carries himself, the respect he has for the Lord, and how his dad treats his mom and interacts with others. When the boy comes closer to being a man, he will need his father or a good role model to follow so that he can be the man that God wants him to be. So to answer your question yes [a woman can raise a man], but without both that man will be incomplete, and he will have to learn the rest on his own. ~ C. Askew
Please don’t take this as racist because it is certainly not meant to be. I agree with your post wholeheartedly.
Part of the problem in the black community is that the Great Society program and welfare. Prior to this 90% of all black familes were two parent families. With the government promising to take care of women all they had to do is to get pregant and go on the dole. Of course you could not have a man living with you.
Black women need to find a man and get married before having children. The prisons are full of guys who did not have a father at home to keep them in line during adolescence. Theyt went searching for a male role model and found it in usually the wrong places. I did a bible study in a jail last year and asked the 30 something guys there how many come from a broken home, all but one raised their hand. You see we are truly failing and it will take a revival of all people to right the wrongs but never more so in the black community. People like Bill Cosby are too often looked at as an Uncle Tom when he is giving good advice. Stay married, take responsibilty for your kids, kids get an education and stay out of trouble.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder