Why Athletes Should Open Schools

Welcome to another edition of Light Fridays

Politics remove practicability from otherwise easy equations.  It is okay because I have practical, easy to implement, and most of all effective solutions floating around in my head all of the time.  I started this with a popular post of Why Rappers Should Open Grocery Stores in an effort to combat juvenile crime and lack of grocery stores in the black community.
After reading this article here on the dismal graduation rates of black men a couple months ago and becoming utterly disheartened and distraught by these numbers, I decided that another practical solution was needed.  It is out of that frustration, I present WHY ATHLETES SHOULD OPEN SCHOOLS:
 

 

If you can beat me one-on-one, then you can get a free homework pass.

 

1) Black Boys Loves Sports. I understand that most boys [and girls], regardless of race love sports.   However, the numbers for others races are NOT despairingly low.  Most young black boys all have dreams to be like Kobe, Michael Vick, or Lebron James.   These boys seem to spend more time after school playing sports or playing sports video games than studying and completing homework.  While most school systems have a No Pass, No Play policyin place, it is only for school sponsored athletics. However, if there was an opportunity to expand this to an all boys school in the hood, then maybe we will see more dedication to their education. For example, any kid that has a 3.0 or higher GPA gets to go to play with Kobe once a month.  That beats that useless certificate any day.  And it produces results.

2) Athletes Have Off-Season. Of course, training at the professional level is constant, however there are months when there is much more down time.  In those months, these athletes could hold camps at their schools and bring in other athletes to stress the importance of education.  It would be especially beneficial to have athletes that actually completed college and made it to the professional level to show that you can be both- an intellectual and an athlete.  Also retired athletes should be scheduled to visit weekly to talk to the young men to help inspire them on a regular basis.  I believe school attendance would go up drastically.
3) It is a Win-Win Situation. I believe if an athlete is willing to do this, then the least the government can do is provide a substantial tax break to provide both incentive and promote it to other athletes.  Opening a school also looks great to sponsors, so more income will be flowing in anyway.  Between sponsorships and grants, a credible and passionate administration and faculty, and an athlete as a figurehead, schools tailored for young black men should be both possible and plausible. Young black men would be excited about education and see it as a necessity instead of an option.

Well, that is just my solution.  The status quo is obviously not working.

Like This!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Advertisements

Can a Woman Raise a Man?

Women innately have superhuman abilities that when determined makes any task possible.  This is especially true when it comes to providing for the ones she loves.  Women have the unique ability to balance a career, school, and family all while carrying a life.  Women can also manage their careers, education and own businesses and make it look easy.  However, women do have limits that no matter how hard they try they cannot achieve.  Taking into account the state of black men and the black community, the limits of motherhood may make it near impossible for a woman to effectively raise a man.
As much as I applaud single mothers and their tenacity and determination to give their children their absolute best, collectively I am not sure how good of a job black women have been doing raising productive black men alone.  Just based off the results of children coming out of broken homes by looking around my immediate and national communities, it is obvious that the current system is failing.  If you had a job where you worked 12 hour days, worked overtimes, never slacked, always gave your best yet still didn’t perform well I don’t believe anyone would fault you.  Similarly, the role of the single mother, though gives her best, still may fall short.  The reason for this is solely due that raising a man was never intended to be done by just a mother.   It requires a man to teach males how to become men. In the same manner, it takes a physicist to teach physics, and an engineer to teach engineering.
Originally, I thought that only men were needed to teach men how to be men. However, in having this discussion with some men, a man shared that it takes both a man and a woman to raise a man:
It takes both mother and father to raise a boy into a man.  As a boy grows up, the mother teaches the boy compassion and how to love.  This is why boys are closer to their moms.  At the same time, the boy is watching his dad how he does things, how he carries himself, the respect he has for the Lord, and how his dad treats his mom and interacts with others.  When the boy comes closer to being a man, he will need his father or a good role model to follow so that he can be the man that God wants him to be.  So to answer your question yes [a woman can raise a man], but without both that man will be incomplete, and he will have to learn the rest on his own. ~ C. Askew
I totally agree and this prospective sheds light on an otherwise bleak forecast.  A woman can raise a man with the help of a man whether it be the father or a good role model in her son’s life.  Or a man will try to fill in the void on his own which has been proven asking too much from a child.  I believe as a single parent, it is as vital as supplying food and shelter to seek and provide good role models for whoever is lacking in their responsibility in that child’s life.  In this parents will take the first step in raising productive children thus changing our communities…for the better.

Like This!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Putting a Cap On It

I wasn’t going to make this a personal post, but ahh well.  Let’s go.

I have a bad habit of throwing up things up in men’s face, specifically the men in which I enter long term relationships.  I know I am not the only one, which is the only solace I find in being this open.  I’ve always understood that people are not perfect therefore anytime you engage with people- imperfection will occur.  It is on this premise that I find it easy to forgive people that fall short of my expectation.  It is comes easy for everyone except those I love the most.  It is near impossible for those whom I have a complete emotional investment.
Forgiveness requires three things:  understanding, a willing heart, and the ability to forget.  The first two are no problem for me.  I have both an open mind and an open heart, it is the forgetting parts that gets me.  I believe the “forget” part of forgiveness often is taken out of context because I don’t believe it means a complete erasure of an event from memory.  Our memory serves to protect us from our past so some things need to be remembered and reflected upon so you are aware when you might need to leave a toxic and unfruitful situation.  However, I believe in relationships, to forget is simply to not hold on to it to pull out and throw out whenever deemed necessary or convenient, ESPECIALLY after the situation has been addressed and been reconciled by both parties.
I believe the reason for my lack of forgetting, in part, is that maybe the reconciliation wasn’t as mutual as I thought initially.  Some wounds take more time to heal.  In rather than being an adult and using my words to say “xyz is still bothering me.”  I calculatedly wait for the most opportune to throw out the issue in the person’s face.  They can’t see it coming that way.  Defenses go up.  Emotions run high.  It is really not productive or beneficial.  It ultimately closes the door of honest and open communication because it negates the safe zone that should be the foundation of a healthy relationship.  The safe zone is the place where you can be yourself, honest, open about anything trusting that the other person will keep those words, feelings, and actions protected.
So in effort to grow and be better than I am, I will follow Kevin Hart’s advice and put a cap on it. I will use my words to communicate how I feel instead of using them to declare war.  I will remember that love, real love, has no leverage against each other.

Like This!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

To My Exes’ Currents

 

 

If women had their way, these would be sold in stores to permanently remove exes from their boyfriend's database.

 

To My Exes’ Currents,

Most women whether they are over their ex or not have innate animosity to whoever replaces her in his life.  It seems the natural response to the new woman in an ex’s life is dissent.  The dissent can be constant whether the ex dumped her boyfriend, she got dumped, or the breakup was mutual.
It is out of this opposition that most “new” women seek to prevent any future arguments by requesting that all of the old flames be completely removed from the picture regardless of their current status.  This preventative measure is usually standard to include removing of pictures, phone numbers, and the elimination of all communication without exception.  For the new woman, it is the equivalent of having a magic eraser to erase prior women from his memory and database.  I have been on both sides of this erasure that is deep seated in insecurity and lack of trust.  Of course, there are cases where unhealthy and disrespectful ties should be severed.  However, the man, out of respect for you and what you both have, should take the initiative to evaluate and respond accordingly.  Honestly, if you can’t trust him to handle that much then is there really a point to move forward???
It is out of this sentiment that I decided the current women in exes’ lives deserved a shout out.  As I’ve stated before, I am cool, if not good friends, with the majority of my exes.  As friends, we talk, joke, and support each other’s various endeavors.  These friendships over time have become indispensable parts of my life.  However, if their current ladies had decided to enforce the erasure of all exes, such friendships would not be possible.   So today, I thank them for giving the previous women in their man’s lives a fair trial.  Even beyond a fair trial, these women gave time for the adjustment of interactions to take place.  What a thought? Beautifully secure black women.  I believe they deserve an applause.  Thank you for allowing my friendships to stay intact and thanks for setting a new standard.

Like This!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

On Long Distance Relationships…

Let me just put it out there- long distance relationships suck.  I honestly don’t understand how anyone would willingly enter them without any plan to move closer to each other very soon.   And although, I accidentally stumbled into one, I only find comfort in knowing he is more than worth it.  Other than that, I would never recommend it.   I would have paid good money in betting that I would never be in one myself.  But alas, here we are.
Contrarily, I believe that this initial distance has actually been beneficial to [re-]establishing a solid foundation for our relationship.  In being forced to only talk has created an open and honest dialogue about our past, present, and future…minus the physical aspect.  You know once sex enters the picture it is hard to determine how much you like the person from how much you like your interactions.  The lines easily blur past that point and it is easy to become confused.  Plus, some men are willing to say and do anything to make you feel as comfortable as possible to give them your body.  So when that is not available for elongated periods it gives a clearer picture of their intent.
This brings me to the second benefit of long distance relationships is because it requires absolute consistency and trust.  I put these together because I believe consistency feeds trust and trust will fuel the relationship.  We make a point to make time for each other consistently.  And even when life is hectic there is open communication and feedback, not because anyone has to check in but because in a long distance, doubt is the enemy.  All of which brings us back full circle to communication.  I thought I was good at it but I realized that I have grown accustomed to rely more on written and non-verbal communication than actually speaking my mind.
Other than the listed, yeah, long distance relationships pretty much suck! I appreciate this experience but I am grateful we’re working to eliminate the long distance out of this relationship.

Like This!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Laughing Til the Tears Came

Yay!! It has been a year since I started this blog and well I can say is THANK YOU!!!

Well, I am back from vacay after spending time with my family and friends.  I was running on empty, but now I feel completely rejuvenated and ready to conquer these next hurdles to successfully close out 2010.  A little time away from the rigorous routine and good people will always feed the soul.
It is funny, I may have missed some of the moments if I wasn’t told the first day I was home visiting with my family to “put that phone down.”  In D.C. my blackberry lives within the security and comfort of my hands and I am often tweeting my experiences as they happen like most of my peers.  It is also how my friends from anywhere in the world connect instantly and interactively with other mutual friends.  It is genius.
However, back in the Deep South, prolonged phone use in the presence of others is still, even in 2010, considered rude.  At first, I was prepared to defend my stance on how the world is now a hybrid.  I have been well trained to multitask between my present reality and my virtual networks.  But I knew my case would fall on deaf ears and instead took a moment to understand their point of view.  Reluctantly, I placed my phone in my purse which is where it would remain for the majority of the trip.
While my phone was somewhere in the bottom of my purse, I had time to really enjoy the people I came to spend time with in the first place.  I was able to take in entire conversations and laugh hard without having to pause my outbursts to inform my virtual network so they could laugh too.  Usually, I would miss the next moment in my reality to respond the virtual reactions to my initial post about my reality.  Then I have to ask what I missed in my reality while I was interacting virtually, and it is never as funny as hearing it in real time.  I had forgot that laughing so hard and thoroughly bring tears to your eyes and eventually make your stomach ache…and your eyes sparkle and smile brighter.
So that is what I did.  I took it all in and lived in the moment in the presence of those who I was physically around.  And believe it or not, the world did not end.  I know, it’s crazy.

Like This!

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine