Reflections of a Sick Lady

Man, I missed ya’ll…

So feeling like you are near death has a way of giving you a brand new perspective on life.  It will also teach you a few lessons on life.  The first lesson is to follow your doctor’s orders and not improvise with my own remedies and substitutions.  Well actually, that is all I learned this week.

However, as I reflected, I realized I have nothing.  I own nothing.  It kind of made me sad because when I planned my life out at 18, by this point I would have lots, plenty, and an abundance.  Yeah…very little about that plan has turned out as I predicted.  Contrarily, the only things of value I have are the relationships established over time.  It is weird the people that God throws in your life.  I am often surprised that the people you least expect become the best of friends and the people you expect to be great fall short.  Despite this, love is consistent.  It exchanges hands often, it increases or decreases depending on its supplier, but the balance of love always remains intact.  This makes it easier to let go of and move forward when you know that the love supply in our lives will always be replenished by someone.

Well, I did learn another lesson. Those who love are there to help carry our load and vice versa.   It is easy for me to fall into superwoman mode and think I can handle it all by myself.  Or moreover, that my problems and shortcomings are nobody’s business.  And while it is a fine line to tow, I am blessed that I have people I can share the things in which I struggle or projects and aspirations that I am working toward.  These people help hold me accountable – both to myself and to my dreams.

After further reflection, I do own two more things.  I own my actions which lead to my progress… or my demise.  And I own my words that either speak life… or destroy.  People don’t put enough stock into these things nowadays.  But I see them as the most valuable thing I will ever possess.  These along with my relationships,  will bear my prosperous future.