Things I Can’t Do for the First 10 Dates

At one point in time, I used to be a huge movie buff.  I loved to watch movies.  It wasn’t until recently, when friends begin to ask me if I had seen one movie or another that I realized that I am tragically behind on my movie game.  I think I’ve been to the movies twice this year and maybe twice last year, and actually I have probably been the movies less than 10 times in the last 3 or so years.  I told you- tragic.  After I thought about it, I realized that the reason I haven’t been to the movies that often is because that is a relationship outing and not a dating outing- at least for me.
When you are in a relationship, you can go to the movies whenever because you have spent and are spending time outside of the movies to really get know each other.  However, when you are dating, the movies don’t provide an atmosphere to get to know someone better.  You can’t talk to each other, you can’t see each other, and you can’t build experiences with one another.  It is a terrible and lazy date idea.  So for me, I say no movies for the first 10 dates.  Here are a few other things I refuse to do in the first 10 dates:
1)        Double Date. People are generally still trying to prove something in the first few months of dating and when that is coupled with another couple, it can easily turn into an unnecessary competition to out-“love” the other couple.   Men try to outdo men and women try to receive the most validation.  Or the other couple can be super argumentative and make the other couple feel completely uncomfortable.  Either way, I want no parts early on in dating.
2)        Meet the Parents. It’s just too soon.
3)        Go to Church Together. I know, I know but hear me out.  If it is your church and you are actively involved, it is like meeting the family if not worse.  It just opens up endless assumptions and expectations.  The only exception I have if we go to a church that neither of us attends.
4)        Work Out Together. I think people underestimate how intimate working out together can be.  It can easily expose all of your physical shortcomings in the daylight.  Then there is the sweating, exhaustion, and overall raggedness that comes after a good work out.  For instance, last night I was doing a 25-minute Ab-Ripper X video.   After which, I was laid out on the floor for the next hour.  I don’t want to look like a punk in front of my date.

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2 Responses to Things I Can’t Do for the First 10 Dates

  1. John Wilder says:

    I love the movies and have gone alone and dateless many times. I actually prefer to go alone because women tend to want to talk in the movies and i HATE THAT. I think that it is exceptionally rude. People talk in the movies like they are sitting at home in their front room. All the other stuff, I agree with you about. You failed to mention sex. I don’t believe in having sex with someone until I am in a committed relationship with them. Sounds strange coming from a man but I too am a Christian.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • Sometimes I go to movies on my own as well. I am not unwilling to do it more as my time is usually spent doing other activities. And I was definitely thinking about adding sex, but I figured I’ve harped on it so much that I just left it out.

      Thank you as always for your valued feedback. I have been behind on responding!

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