The Balancing Act

I actually had begun writing this about 3 months ago and never got around to finishing it.  It was then part of what I desired for my next relationship.  Now it is what I actually have.

Women are sometimes neurotic.  I am no exception.  When I was younger, at times my emotions blurred reality.  I would go off. I would assume.  I would presume.  While this is not the norm now, I would be lying if I didn’t admit irrationality sometimes creeps into an otherwise sane existence.  That in mind, it takes a very special, patient, and vocal man to handle me.   Did I mention patient??

As I reflect on my past relationships, the men all had one thing in common- they balanced me. Nowadays, I’m a lot calmer and emotionally consistent.  I am still silly.  Very silly.  A fool yet laid back.  So they were as silly or sillier.  Well, that is not a balance for most, but it is a balance for me.  Sometimes, I feel like being the life of the party, and other times I seek refuge in a cave with a good book and strawberry lemonade.  They were cool with going out as much as staying in the house. Whereas my frustrations are usually goal related- where I am versus where I want to be.  They would brainstorm solutions.  I am super forgetful.  They always remember.

If relationships are supposed to be an (better) extension of who you are, I find myself questioning what I bring to the table.  What do I enhance?  What truly separates me from the crowd?  I am a modern traditionalist.  I love to cook.  I can’t stand filthy environments so I am compelled to clean.  Yet, I am educated, opinionated, and vocal.  While I have my own, I am very dependent.  It is a whole team of beautiful people that at one point or another help keep me afloat just when I feel like I am sinking.  I make no claims of being every woman.

Oddly enough, it wasn’t until I stopped focusing on what I lacked that I was finally afforded the opportunity to build upon what I do have.  No one has it all together.  We all lack pieces of the puzzle. It is with that realization that it dawned on me that I balance him too.