Why Rappers Should Open Grocery Stores

Welcome to Another Edition of Light Fridays

I’m so serious that this probably shouldn’t be on Light Fridays… Everyday another rapper/black celeb starts a new clothing line, has a new fragrance, or opens a new restaurant.  All of these products use their fame to sell a mediocre product at exorbitant prices.  This never benefits the consumer, which are usually black people, because it is not a fair exchange of need and value.  To me it is like robbing your own people and is a tragedy.  The problem is further compounded when the poor have to go through illegal means just to acquire a product pushed by a celebrity.
Now, a grocery store in the hood is a novel idea!  There is usually only one grocery store in the hood…maybe.  It usually priced higher than other stores.  It is usually not well-kept.  And most important, it typically is void of fresh produce.  So a grocery store in the hood owned by a rapper would be a win-win! Here’s why:
1) A Grocery Store is Recession Proof. With cd sales down and retail sales down, a grocery store guarantees steady and reliable income. And every other culture and ethnicity has their own stores to get products for their cuisine for cheap. Black people need a place to shop for cheap soul food as well.

This could be your grocery bagger's uniform.

2) Saves the Youth. Most teenagers would rather not work at a grocery store. It is just not the coolest thing to do. But if the uniforms were, let’s say, SEAN JOHN aprons it would be kinda hot.  So instead of selling drugs and gang banging they get the gear for the Free when they work for you. Also, I think it would be hot, if they had to like spit some verses in the interview to get hired.

3) Hip Hop While Shopping. Whenever you go to the grocery store, all you hear is elevator jazz music with no words and no beat.  But the grocery store is the PERFECT place to play your music to promote your own music and music from lesser known artists. I personally would love to hear Jay-Z pumping out of the speakers while I am grocery shopping.
4) Celebrities to Promote Health. Kids normally buy candy and junk food. But if rappers had their celebrity friends take pictures of them eating fruits and vegetables then it would be cool and kids would follow thus promoting healthy eating habits of black youth.

Just my thoughts….

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13 Responses to Why Rappers Should Open Grocery Stores

  1. Mr. Fantastic says:

    I was literally laughing out loud on the way to this field trip. I can just imagine over the speakers “Manager’s Special Freestyle”, pictures of aggins poppin bottles with produce. Carrots and Cristal, Apples and Ace of Spade. Workers walk thru the aisle making it rain with coupons. Classic

  2. Silent Reader says:

    I read your posts often but never comment. This was brilliant! Funny and unfortunately realistic at the same time…

    • AWWW Well, thanks for your silent support and thanks for commenting! Yes, maybe they don’t know there are other viable avenues to be useful and profit so maybe if we throw out some alternatives someone will catch on….maybe!

  3. Nay of 5thGM says:

    I hate you for this sheer brilliance… I literally laughed out loud also…. classic post…

    PS They play Hip Hop (and Salsa) at my grocery store… guess I’m really in the hood huh?

    • Well if there is a reason to be hated, Sheer Brilliance is what I would like to be! 😉 and I need to shop where you shop. Thanks for the continued support! You are a friggin Rockstar!

  4. Redhead says:

    Man I’m gonna open a Safeway RIGHT NOW hahahaha

    • No, no you have to make it your own. Like “I’M REDHEAD, GIANT DON’T GOT NOTHING ON US GROCERIES.” Man I didn’t think about names. Damn I will come back with more ideas!

  5. Savvy says:

    Seriously this was innovative! Now how can we get them buy into this and make it happen…of course minus the making it rain and freestyling over intercom…lol. They should place the first one in the Grove…all they have is Carnival, Fiesta and Malone’s which all cater to the Latin population.

    • I know, and they stores for Caribbean, Italian, Mexican foods and everybody else but no stores for us. I am not sure how to get them to buy into it but if and when they do I want my cut! *take that, take that*

  6. Pingback: Why Athletes Should Open Schools « The Mocha Café

  7. Goldy says:

    ❤ Yeah let's call it Negro's R Us!!! LMFAO!!! With Love ❤

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