My Letter to the Quiet Guy
July 13, 2010 4 Comments
I have always had a thing, a serious thing, for the cute, quiet guys. You see most of my close friends have strong, dominant personalities. We tend to run the show, start the parties, and are very used to being the center of attention. So I find it extremely refreshing and even more intriguing to see you relaxing in the back simply taking it all in.
When I was younger, I believed I enjoyed chase and catch of the quiet guys as opposed the ones in my face. But in my experiences with those quiet guys, I was surprised to learn that not only are they not pushovers but are very opinionated, well-spoken, and well read. And well, I am intellectual groupie. Additionally, there is nothing more alluring that quiet confidence. You require no fanfare to draw me in and gain my undivided attention.
Now, I am no longer thrilled by the hunt and much more at ease with being actively pursued. But you, the quiet guy, still present a challenge when it comes to placing interest. How do I let you know? You are so careful and deliberate in your actions not willing to jump to conclusions or misstep your boundaries so my subtle hints of “I think you are awesome” have seemed to go unnoticed for far too long.
I have learned patience and now value and embrace that time before the first hellos to the first dates to the first kisses. The quiet guys before you taught me how to make sure those moments linger for as long as possible. Haste, rash decisions are no longer my friend. And now I appreciate you for taking your time to get to know more about me and to respect me. And when you are ready, no, sure that I am all that I say I am then I am sure you will make your move. Until then, I will watch you sit quietly in the back, watching me as I can’t help but watch you.
The Mocha Café 
Having been the quintessential (Gemini) schizo quiet-guy (sometimes I like to tear the roof off the mf), I’ve never really been the one to approach too many women and found myself oblivious to the signs women think they throw, which for the record, are usually less forward in mens eyes than you women tend to think. I’ve had several girls from high school post-graduation tell me they used to think i was cute but I had no idea. My wife had to get through the armor to get to my reckless ignorant self…luckily we were introduced or we may have never met…I’ve just never really been the guy to run up on a woman. I think approaching a quiet dude requires switching of the gears…if he’s smart and secure in himself, he will appreciate an aggressive woman going for what she wants and blessing him with the compliment of her attention.
LOL! You are right because i have seen from the outside looking in that is was OBVIOUS that the girl liked him but he was completely oblivious to it! But you presented a different perspective that I have never really gave that much thought before. hmmm. 🙂
Most people think that quiet guys are always shy people but that is actually far from the case. They just tend to observe more than everybody else and are more calculated as you stated. But as Shaw said, sometimes the signs you think scream “talk to me” are not often taken in as such by the quiet guy.
Chris Rock said that women are so used to shooting guys down since the age of like 13 years old but the reverse is not true. As Shaw said, approaching a quiet dude requires switching off the gears because its something that most women aren’t accustomed to doing. So for the women having trouble approaching the quiet guy, realize that most “normal” guys go through the same trouble approaching them.
You know, I’ve never thought men having trouble approaching women because a) i think they have to do it all the time or b) women are the chasers now. But that is an interesting perspective that makes you reconsider. But it is a delicate road to travel because i don’t want to have to initiate every thing. I want him to be able to go after things he wants in life but as a woman I have no problem making the first move, as long as he makes the rest.