Why You Can’t Meet My Friends

Despite this blog, my very open personal twitter account, and my frequent facebook updates, I am a very private person, even with my friends…even with my best friends.  No one friend knows all, most know some, but only a few know most, and only GOD knows all.  There is no exception when it comes to men I date.
So it is always strange when men I date ask to kick it with my friends- the friends that have probably heard nothing about him…at all.  My response is usually, “Nah, you can’t meet my friends.”  He usually responds, “Why?”  I typically give some version of “I’m not there yet.”
Here are my reasons why I am totally against someone I’m dating meeting my friends.
1)   No commitment: We are just dating and on my end nothing serious as of now.  I have friends and family that every time you see them they are introducing to someone new.   Instead of enjoying the pleasantry of meeting this person, you don’t even hear the name because you are giving your friend/family the extreme side-eye.  Yeah, so I refuse to be that person with a constant rotation of new people.
2)   My Friends Are Cool As Hell: There is no question, my date will love my friends.  It only takes a few hours of kicking it with them to feel like you have truly bonded.  At the end of the night, he will probably be like “I’ve haven’t had that much fun in a while.”  Then my date is trying to exchange twitters or pins.  And well, I just can’t have that.  What if I decide you are no longer worth my time, are you still going to try to kick it with my friends?  Are your exchanges going to be on my timeline like ya’ll are cool?  It can become super annoying and harder to  move forward if you are now, without earning it, integrated into my social circle.
3)   My Friends are Like Family: I have no family here in D.C., at least biologically speaking.  My friends are like my family.  I believe the saying goes, “friends are the family you can pick.”  Well, I picked quite an extraordinary bunch.  So if I am not ready for you to meet my family, then I am not ready for you meet my friends.
I will let you know when we get there.

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6 Responses to Why You Can’t Meet My Friends

  1. Mr. Fantastic says:

    This makes a lot of sense and I really agree. You can’t be tryna wife up my friends. Cuz when you hit the bricks, then you’re still around. And that’s DEFINITELY not in your contract. Lol

    And specifically related to you, I’m the greatest friend you have and everybody loves me. Its like I’m a super star, but late at night, something ain’t right, I feel I’m gettin’ tailed by the same suckas’ headlights. (Sorry, My Mind’s Playin’ Tricks on Me).

    At any rate. Good Post. And that means a lot coming from me. Because I’m Mr. Fantastic.

  2. Savvy says:

    Are we twins, separated at birth? Geesh this spoke to my heart!

  3. I Luv HU says:

    This was a pretty good post! Just know that it works both ways too! There are some women who are anxious and try to rush to meet his friends because to her it means “that he really likes me”. And for the same reasons you mentioned, she will be denied and then take offense because she got her hopes up. Just my 2 pennies

    • First, I love your alias! 🙂

      And thank you, and you are very right. Women, myself included, often find validation in meeting the friends. But it is absolutely nothing to rush into and nothing I ever force or even encourage prematurely. Your two pennies are shiny so I will take them!

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