…In a Relationship and It’s Complicated

It never ceases to amaze me how open people are about their private life via social networking.  One day you are in a relationship, the next you are not.  I suppose some things occur overnight and the following day, you are “complicated.”  But what does this mean? You are kind of together, but you are kind of not? For teenagers and maybe sophomoric collegiate students this notion is both probable and plausible.  However, for hard-working, real life adults this notion is not only juvenile but tacky.  Tacky in a sense that a) you have it displayed on your page as part of what defines you b) that it pops up on my mini-feed, and c) the greatest crime, you settle for less.  So after pondering on this “it’s complicated” concept for a while, I thought of some reasons you thought your relationship may be complicated.
1)      The (S)EX- Factor– It has been mutually agreed that to be apart is best.  Yet, you can’t seem to stop those late night, early morning and mid-day visits. The chemistry is crazy. You feel like given that you have been through so much with this person AND the sex life is still in tack that you might be on the verge of getting back with your ex.  Unless something drastic happens outside of the sex, this is not the case.  The sex is good and well… good sex only begets more sex.  Your status should read single.
2)      The “Just Friends” Zone– The first person you call with good news. The first person you call after a bad day. The last person you talk to at night. You go out. You date. This is your favorite person to kick it with – to just chill. The chemistry is crazy. However, whenever it comes time to introduce this person, they are simply, “My friend….”, or you know, “the homie……”  Don’t look now, but you are in a relationship with the homie.   What is holding you back from the title of the fulfilled job description?  It is like doing CEO work with the job title clerk.  It is simply insufficient. If you are “the friend,” demand more. If you introduce them as “the friend”, step up!
3)      The Shouldn’t Be-ers- You fall in love with your ex’s best friend, your best friend’s sister, your sister’s ex, your boss or your employee or any relationship that ignores rules or principles such as social, religious, and/or political doctrines. Love sweeps in and leaves you at a loss.  Your relationship and love for this person is forced to be hidden from public view to avoid conflict and scrutiny.  Confront your obstacle with finesse and care. Be true to yourself.  Do not deny yourself the opportunity of something real due to someone else’s past. Work it out so that you can enjoy the relationship you may have.
The point is no matter where you find yourself, communication is the key to clarity.  Do not settle for less if you desire more.  Love has no complication, it simply is.
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8 Responses to …In a Relationship and It’s Complicated

  1. Mr. Fantastic says:

    Sometimes that shit just be complicated. Not whether you’re together or not, but at the end of the day, the “status message” is for the outside world to look upon. And with that being said, sometimes the reason you end up with who you end up with is complicated, or why y’all do what you do. More than a few relationships, esp. black relationships are “I can’t stand this muh fucka, but I love him/her” type deals. Its probably also why more relationships fail now a days. People forcing it to try and work long after the realization it won’t. That IS complicated at its finest.

    • mstryst says:

      I agree the circumstances around the relationship can be complicated. But that is no reason for it to be posted on facebook. You need to be in it or out of it. Being “complicated” allows too many questions to be asked and too many windows to allow others in to a r’ship that is already complicated. It can only go downward from there. And love is not complicated.

      • Mr. Fantastic says:

        But to that effect why does ANY relationship status need to be on facebook. You know how people knew you were in a relationship BEFORE facebook ??? They asked you and you told them. More importantly it USUALLY meant they were probably abreast to some part of the info that would give them insight into why your relationship might be complicated. If they didn’t have the access to you to ask, then they weren’t that close of friend in the first place. And I agree LOVE is not complicated, relationships are. And they are because sometimes a lot of different things get called Love.

      • mstryst says:

        You just preached a sermon there. Well, my first paragragh addressed the need for it to be posted at all. You are right, your friends always know the deal anyway.

  2. CletusLevon says:

    Sometimes people are being facetious, there relationship is not even remotely complicated, they just post crap on their social networking sites because it’s there and they know it annoys people like you and my mother. 😉

  3. Nay of 5thGM says:

    I agree, that “complicated” BS bothers me. Friends or no friends, how complicated my relationship is or is not isn’t anyones business but me and my other half. People who aren’t even in or never really been in relationships are most prone to stick their nose in and give asinine advice when they see that something is “complicated”… not to mention if they were in said situation, they wouldn’t follow their own advice… Listing your status as complicated is simply asking for more headaches…

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