…In a Relationship and It’s Complicated

It never ceases to amaze me how open people are about their private life via social networking.  One day you are in a relationship, the next you are not.  I suppose some things occur overnight and the following day, you are “complicated.”  But what does this mean? You are kind of together, but you are kind of not? For teenagers and maybe sophomoric collegiate students this notion is both probable and plausible.  However, for hard-working, real life adults this notion is not only juvenile but tacky.  Tacky in a sense that a) you have it displayed on your page as part of what defines you b) that it pops up on my mini-feed, and c) the greatest crime, you settle for less.  So after pondering on this “it’s complicated” concept for a while, I thought of some reasons you thought your relationship may be complicated.

1)      The (S)EX- Factor– It has been mutually agreed that to be apart is best.  Yet, you can’t seem to stop those late night, early morning and mid-day visits. The chemistry is crazy. You feel like given that you have been through so much with this person AND the sex life is still in tack that you might be on the verge of getting back with your ex.  Unless something drastic happens outside of the sex, this is not the case.  The sex is good and well… good sex only begets more sex.  Your status should read single.

2)      The “Just Friends” Zone– The first person you call with good news. The first person you call after a bad day. The last person you talk to at night. You go out. You date. This is your favorite person to kick it with – to just chill. The chemistry is crazy. However, whenever it comes time to introduce this person, they are simply, “My friend….”, or you know, “the homie……”  Don’t look now, but you are in a relationship with the homie.   What is holding you back from the title of the fulfilled job description?  It is like doing CEO work with the job title clerk.  It is simply insufficient. If you are “the friend,” demand more. If you introduce them as “the friend”, step up!

3)      The Shouldn’t Be-ers- You fall in love with your ex’s best friend, your best friend’s sister, your sister’s ex, your boss or your employee or any relationship that ignores rules or principles such as social, religious, and/or political doctrines. Love sweeps in and leaves you at a loss.  Your relationship and love for this person is forced to be hidden from public view to avoid conflict and scrutiny.  Confront your obstacle with finesse and care. Be true to yourself.  Do not deny yourself the opportunity of something real due to someone else’s past. Work it out so that you can enjoy the relationship you may have.

The point is no matter where you find yourself, communication is the key to clarity.  Do not settle for less if you desire more.  Love has no complication, it simply is.