Sex: The Relationship Audition

A committed relationship before sex? It is 2010 and it seems like an unrealistic notion.  With each year, sex becomes more and more casual. “No strings attached” has taken a literal turn for both men and women alike.  Well maybe, it is still just for the men.  While the feminist movement continues to liberate women of their sexual inhibitions, freeing women of the stigmas of labels of whore and slut, these women are now free-spirited, finding herself, and simply enjoying life.  And some may, but that number is minute in comparison to the women that use sex to audition for the coveted committed and fulfilling relationship.
Once upon a time, and a land far, far away, a man had to at the very least be your boyfriend before a lady would engage in sexual activity with him.  Only 20 years ago, that standard was low.  Today, that standard is non-existent.  The lack of commitment required before sex is detrimental, not only for the sake of the moral barometer, but also because women have allowed men to substitute casual, unattached sex for the desired intimacy found only in committed relationships. With all of the progression, education, pay increases, and equal rights, women still want more- they still want a man’s sole devotion.  It has gone from simply wearing seductive clothes to working out to look the best naked, from saying no let’s wait awhile to performing the best ride with the hopes that a man will choose you.
But women have sold themselves short.  The best sex does not land the best man.   Moreover, sex shouldn’t be the tool that is used to try to obtain or maintain a man.  The supply of women willing to audition themselves out is high.  The men willing to commit before sex are low.  The risks are high and not in women’s favor.  The frequent sexual exchanges only lower the woman’s current market value.
So the next time he says he is not looking for anything serious, believe him. If you want more, walk away and to someone willing to offer more.  It seems preposterous to go to the tire shop with the hopes they will make you a smoothie.  Equally absurd is the notion to physically invest in a man with hopes of gaining an emotional commitment.
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13 Responses to Sex: The Relationship Audition

  1. S Shaw says:

    I think sex is in many ways an audition to the relationship. Now I realize Im not like all guys…if I realize Im sexually and mentally and emotionally compatible with someone, I’m probably committing. However, there would be no reason to pursue it at all if there was a risk of the sex being inadequate. Another statistic is that the rate of divorce based on sexual incompatibility is also high, so why get emotionally entrenched before you’ve even given it a go, so to speak? Not saying be a ho, just realize that you’d be hard pressed to find a dude really trying to wife you before even seeing er-uh…what that thang smell like lol.

    • mstryst says:

      HAHA!! Well two things a) intimacy can be established without having sex. And b) you said it when you said mentally and emotionally compatible with someone. The sexually compatibility shouldn’t be the first and only thing ever established. These chicks are not even getting happy meals, yet along quality time and investments- emotionally, mentally and physically. I do agree sex is VERY important…..in a marriage.

      • S Shaw says:

        I actually am a married man and I never said sexual compatibility should come before anything; I only stated that its relevance shouldn’t be ignored and to go into marriage without having had sex, religious views of anyone reading notwithstanding, is foolish. Marriages end and people cheat due to sexual incompatibility among other reasons, and I doubt if it’s always because something else was missing. If you’re implying that sex is only important after the guy has bought a woman a ring and met every living relative at the wedding, I’ve got to throw the deuces on this discussion…that just sounds silly.

        • mstryst says:

          No, that is not what i am saying at all. I am saying that given I KNOW you are a married man YOU brought up divorce rates due to sexual incompatibility that it is IMPORTANT in itself (with the right person) and in a marriage. Now, calm down.

  2. Savvy says:

    This is straight on point. I still hold true to that standard and it’s damn hard to find a man that feels the same or even willing to comply. However, this standard is used to filter out the “ain’t talking bout nothings” from the equation.

    • mstryst says:

      Exactly, I was telling a friend that we all fall short of our standards at times. And it sooo easy to forget that there was even a standard to begin with. So this is a reminder for both myself and others.

  3. Nay of 5thGM says:

    I agree wholeheartedly… the clear message is the test… if he’s willing to enjoy you without sex, he may be more inclined to stay when you have sex! Women jump so fast into sex and then wonder why the dude disappeared… he doesn’t even know you well enough to care about your feelings if he never speaks to you again after you’ve given him the number 1 thing he wants… I’ve discovered that every man wants his wife to be a hoe but he expects this to only happen with him… most men won’t be interested if they find out you’ve been with 100 other men before them, and it’s a truly rare case for them to understand the female emotional journey to find love…

  4. Pingback: Sex: The Relationship Audition « The Mocha Café | Sex Dates And Sexy Dating

  5. Mr. Fantastic says:

    Dead @ Not Getting Happy Meals. Ain’t that the Truth Ruth. You gotta at least figure out what’s going to happen AFTER the sex. Chicks stop even asking “You not gonna look at me differently tomorrow right?” THAT’S why niggas be lookin’ at em different tomorrow. Get it together.

  6. mrjames8 says:

    I’ve got so much to say about this I’m gonna have to do my own blog….

  7. Pingback: She’s Single for the Night « The Mocha Café

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