The Amicable Ex

I am cool with all of my exes (well, all of them from college forward).  Some of my relationships were public.  Others were private.  Some had a friendly break up.  Others were, well let’s say, much less friendly.  All were necessary.
I admit most of the coolness between my exes and I happened by chance with little to no effort.  But there were a couple that I had to make a personal decision that once the last “f*ck you” had lost its sting that at some point we would come together to make amends.  I made the decision to forgive, not for them but for me.  However, my greatest objective was to see where and how we went awry.  I could easily continue to place blame and say there are no good men.  Or I could ask those who I had allowed to be closest to me to give their perspective.  I choose to listen.   It is hard to have someone that you loved magnify your shortcomings.  But those conversations gave me the realest portrait of myself.  At that point, I could choose to grow from it or continue to make the same mistakes.  I am pro-growth.
Eventually the pain subsides and we remember the foundation of which our relationship was established. However, this time we are saner and free of the  confines of titles and rules.  Through these saner eyes, we can see what we were possibly only intended to ever be – friends.

4 Responses to The Amicable Ex

  1. Shekeira says:

    I hear you, but I can be honest and say, you know what, I’m just not there yet (in regards to being friends with the ex)! I can totally open up and see my shortcomings because as the saying goes, when you point the finger, you got three more pointing right back at you. So I know that I am far from perfect, and I always try to look at myself FIRST when anything goes wrong. But um, friends with the ex, naw, that ain’t gone happen…at least not right now

    • mstryst says:

      I feel you, like i said with some it was difficult. And some people/relationships are toxic and no longer hold any value in our lives. However, in my personal life, I have been able to place value in their respective friendships.

      But you have got the main point, to be able to examine yourself and your actions to see where there is room for improvement!

      Thanks for the comment! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Loving the Pieces « The Mocha Café

  3. Pingback: To My Exes’ Currents « The Mocha Café

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