The Amicable Ex

I am cool with all of my exes (well, all of them from college forward).  Some of my relationships were public.  Others were private.  Some had a friendly break up.  Others were, well let’s say, much less friendly.  All were necessary.

I admit most of the coolness between my exes and I happened by chance with little to no effort.  But there were a couple that I had to make a personal decision that once the last “f*ck you” had lost its sting that at some point we would come together to make amends.  I made the decision to forgive, not for them but for me.  However, my greatest objective was to see where and how we went awry.  I could easily continue to place blame and say there are no good men.  Or I could ask those who I had allowed to be closest to me to give their perspective.  I choose to listen.   It is hard to have someone that you loved magnify your shortcomings.  But those conversations gave me the realest portrait of myself.  At that point, I could choose to grow from it or continue to make the same mistakes.  I am pro-growth.

Eventually the pain subsides and we remember the foundation of which our relationship was established. However, this time we are saner and free of the  confines of titles and rules.  Through these saner eyes, we can see what we were possibly only intended to ever be – friends.