something she wants you to know…

In my lifetime, I have played all three possible roles in the game of cheating.  I have been cheated on, I have cheated, and I have been the accomplice to the cheating.  People will give you all types of reasons why people cheat. And if that list is longer than one singular item then the list is erroneous.  There is only ONE reason why people cheat, at least initially- it is what they wanted to do when the opportunity presented itself.  All the other reasons are pish-posh!
Here are some common beliefs about cheating that I feel are really myths.
1)      Men cheat WAY more than women.
2)     Men are so sloppy with their cheating and that is why they always get caught
3)     Women are much smarter cheaters and that is why they hardly get caught.
I am going to let you in on a little something. If a man is caught cheating it is because the side chick wanted to send a message to the main lady. The side chick has to leave a trail for the dude to get caught, plain and simple.  As long as side chick is content, she will do her part to make sure he never gets caught.  She will keep electronic communication to a bare minimum.  She will have him home on time, collar clean, and shirt pressed.  Most important, she will grossly limit the usage of his name both publically and privately because you never know who knows who.
The reason women are not caught cheating as frequently as men is because men have too much pride to seem pressed enough to go through the effort of making his presence known to another man.  It’s just way too much work.  Unless he gets “hooked on the venom,” well, then men can become worse than women.
Much like the list of reasons why people cheat, the reason why a side-chick wants to make their presence known is also relatively simple.  It is the result of growing discontentment- emotionally, financially, position, etc.
All of this to say if you MUST cheat, keep the side chick paid happy.
~ms. yeah you prolly should’ve kept them monthly payments going
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Tis the Season…to Know Where You Stand

By now your Thanksgiving dinner should be fully digested. The day after Thanksgiving, stores are already filled with holly and wreaths signaling the arrival of the holiday season. With the season, you can expect company spreads and parties, tons of social mixers, and house gatherings celebrating the arrival of Christmas.  However, this season also begs the question, “Where Do We Stand (because I need to know how much to spend on you for Christmas, if anything at all).”  Well if you didn’t get invited to your beau(x)’s Thanksgiving plans, there is one thing we know for sure- you are NOT an established sig other.  But where do you stand? How far to you have to go?  Well let’s see, did you get….
general mass text message?
At the VERY BEST you are just a jump-off.  You know the saying “nothing more, nothing less?”  Well in this case you could be less. Yes, less than the jump-off.  If you are emotionally involved with a person and you fall in this category just walk-away and take that loss as a lesson learned.  No need to continue to exert any additional energy in a one-way relationship.

A disappointed lady over-analyzing the meaning of his holiday text. Yeah, but no.... there is nothing more to it.

a personalized text message??
I can’t help but laugh because I know someone that sends the seemingly personalized text messages that are really general mass text messages. So the distinguishing factor is did the text message have your name in it or referred to an experience you shared??  Anything with the terms- boo, dear, hun, sweetheart, sweetie, love, babe, etc- then you need to refer to the prior section. However if the message stated your name, well at least they took the time to send you a personal text message for the holiday.  You fall in the upper echelon of jump-offs. You are good at what you do, and well, your not so significant other took notice… but yeah that is about it. Nothing special. At all.
A phone call??
Well, well, what do we have here?  You are the official side-chick (they are obviously on their way to meet up with the main chick) Don’t be fooled “side-chick” is gender neutral and can refer to either a man or lady that appreciates their role as the reliable back-up plan. OR you are on the right track and have progressed from friend to something-more-but-not-so-sure-what-that-is-so-you-can’t-meet-my-family-yet status. This is the stage where careful evaluation of the time spent should be analyzed.  What is the quality and variety of activities partaken in together outside of the bedroom?  What common interests bring you together? You must also do a thorough self-examination to make sure you are not lacking any qualities that would make your sig other hesitant to bring you around the family?  Does every time he sees you your breast are out and your pants are skin tight? Maybe, he doesn’t think you have any family-appropriate attire. Do you have golds in your mouth, tats on your neck, arms, wrists, and eyes??  Well there is no undoing all of that.  But you can see how that would pose a problem to her bible-toting, hymn-singing, good church folk parents. But don’t fret if you found yourself in this category for thanksgiving because you have about 3 weeks to explore any setbacks and aim for the prized Christmas invite.
To attend the family gathering?
Well, you already know where you stand. On top!  But don’t start over-feeling yourself because it doesn’t mean you are the only, you are just winning the race. And whereas 3 weeks can be plenty of time to progress to the next level, contrarily it is also plenty of time to fall off that love boat.  So continue to grow upon the foundation that the relationship was built and press forward. So, what are you getting your sig other for Christmas?
Bonus!!
If you attend the family gathering AND YOUR BOO POST PICS of you both together on said holiday on a major networking site??  AND/OR their parents have your number saved in their phone. Well, then you are good to go.  You will probably get married if you don’t do anything stupid*
*shaquilleonealish , kobebryantish, brittanyspearish, RHOAish
~ms. i ain’t never steered you wrong

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