Why I Don’t Want a “Good” Man


I'm good. You can have him.

They’re wack.
While as an exemplary woman, I can appreciate a good man that is extremely caring, sensitive, and attentive, I am typically drawn to the less desirable. Wait now, hear me out.
For me, I think of it as buying a house.  You have two options: 1) you can buy a new house at the top of your budget that already has everything you think you want. 2)  Or you can buy a foreclosed, bank-owned home that needs a lot of work and renovate it to make it your own. People often question why you are interested in purchasing a worn home in a run down neighborhood when you have the money and credit to buy a new home in the suburbs.
New homes, like “ideal” men, highlight all their fantastic features, but often leave no room for growth and expansion.  They are usually pretentious, self-involved, and have absolutely no personality. They have also already reached their potential.  Did I mention they have no personality? Or even worse a generic, homogenous personality with no character or charm.  I am opposed.

"Let me upgrade ya"

Homes, like men, that require more work, while you get a good deal initially, you have to budget and make decisions on what upgrades are necessary.  You have to decide what you can do yourself and what will require a contractor.  All renovations take time.  A renovation only makes sense if the frame is what you want and the foundation is solid.  However, you usually have to gut out an area before you make it beautiful.  At the end of the process, you have a beautiful home that you created to suit your needs that has greatly increased the equity in your home by your renovations.

"Where Before Meets After"

HGTV’s show, Hidden Potential, is the most accurate description my relationship process.  The process of renovating is full of highs and lows, joys and frustrations, but when it is all done, everyone, even the nay-sayers love it.  And you, the owner, are proud of the gem you were able to see beyond the rough exterior.
~Ms. Don’t Judge Me, I still got a long way to go myself.

6 Responses to Why I Don’t Want a “Good” Man

  1. I really like your analogy on the difference between a “good man” and well a man who requires work or renovation. I think you should check out our article “The Nice Guy and The Jerk.” This is characteristic of some women that have always confused men, especially the nice ones out there. Why women go for the so-called jerk types or “men who need renovation.” Check it out and also check out the “Female Response to The Nice Guy and The Jerk.” at http://fromaguyspointofview.com/manlinews/the-nice-guy-and-the-jerk

  2. Some Guy Named Joel says:

    As a good man (although far from perfect, and with no desires to ever make it to perfect), I am *slightly* offended by your post, although I kind of understand where you’re coming from.

    Hopefully those less-than-desirable men will work out for you. Never understood how women can SAY they want a good man, yet still come up with a million reasons why good men aren’t good enough. Then we wonder why there are so many ‘not-shit’ dudes out there.

  3. Some Guy Named Joel says:

    One more thing….Do you think it’s possible some of these good men that you think are pretentious and wack have ‘rough exteriors’ of their own that a willing woman could ‘renovate’ just as equally as the ‘run-down’ homes in the ‘hood that you say you prefer have?

  4. Pingback: Marriage: Black Women’s Race to the Finish « The Mocha Café

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