June 7, 2010 9 Comments
April 28, 2010 Leave a comment
Black women do not trust black men. Maybe that’s not fair, maybe women do not trust men. I do not know who is the blame – the women or the men. Granted men do cheat and lie, but women at some point seem to enable and perpetuate the lying and the cheating. Black women are enablers…but I will save that for another day.
In Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too, I was in tears laughing at the character Angela’s role. Despite your feelings toward the overall movie, I believe most black men and women could relate to the arguments over the codes to cell phones. All of my girlfriends at some point have checked their boyfriend’s phone, email, facebook, etc. as a means to find out what their man is really doing. It can become a full time job and consumption of time and energy.
Then one day it hit me, why be with someone you don’t trust. It was such a novel idea; I don’t know why it took so long for me to get it. I remember the day, January 6, 2007, when I decided I would never check a phone, email, chat logs ever again. I have been hacking-free since that day. I have been FREE of drama since that day too. I have been FREE of negative energy and emotional drainage that comes with being the CIA of your man. I have been FREE of my own hypocrisy. I have been freed!
I made the decision then, if I have to check behind him and break & enter into accounts, he is not for me. If I don’t trust him, then he is not the man for me. It instantly eliminated so many from the pack and set a clear standard of what is acceptable. It was a reality check for not only men but for my own wrong behavior. The thought doesn’t even cross my mind anymore. It is no longer an option for gathering information. I go directly to the source if I have an issue. I ask him and listen to his response. I invite you to try it.
Ms “stop going through his stuff, girl, you tripping” Tryst
October 14, 2009 2 Comments