The Bad Ones Aren’t Labeled
December 8, 2010 Leave a comment
I recently entered a heated debate with a young black man that proceeded to volunteer his thoughts on the high percentage of black children born out of wedlock. 72%, yes, it is alarming. He essentially blamed it all on black women by stating it is our fault that we continue to engage in pre-marital sex with men that ain’t bout sh*t. I asked him two things.
Me: Have you ever engaged in pre-marital sex with a black woman?
Me: If any of those women were to get pregnant, are there any you wouldn’t marry??
Him: Yes, I wouldn’t marry most of t them.
Me: Well, then sir you too are part of the problem.
While the data is bad, from every angle- terrible, it doesn’t mean that 72% of black children aren’t actively fathered. There are lots of black men, though they are not with their child’s mother, are an active and involved fathers. Sadly, you can look in our communities and realize this is not the majority.
The more pressing issue is that most women don’t knowingly engage in baby-producing activities with men they know ain’t about nothing. Men aren’t labeled like food to give ingredients and percentages of how much sh*t they contain. Are there indicators? Certainly. The inability to maintain a job, not taking care of the kids he already has, and overall disrespectful demeanors toward women are all huge red flags. I am not talking about those obvious signs. I am talking about becoming involved with educated, well-employed, seemingly respectful men that still aren’t about taking care of their responsibilities. There are no huge red flags. The lies are so crafty you don’t know he lying until it is too late. Sometimes bad men wear the same attire, hang at the same places, and go to the same churches as the good ones. It is not until it all hits the fan can you determine the real good men from the imposters. Hell, by that time it is usually too late.